Dont Dream It's Over Pony
by SexyStar101
Summary: CHAP.7 UP! Ponyboy hasn't been himself since Dally & Johnny's death.Sodapop does what he can do to bring the old Ponyboy back, though along the way he develops strong feelings. Incest. Don't like it, then don't read!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: The Outsiders book & movie. **DUH.**

Summary: Sodapop does everything in his power to get Ponyboy back to his old self, but along the way finds more than just brotherly love.

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Sodapop's POV 

It's been what? 3 or 4 months since Johnny and Dally died. Poor Ponyboy has been in a slump since. I've done mostly everything in my power to try and cheer him up, but he just wont budge. His grade's been slipping, and he has not eaten much or slept for weeks. Darry & I are really worried about him. Even Steve & Two-Bit are worried about him. I want my old Ponyboy back. The Pony that was always happy and always had something to say. The Ponyboy that looked up to me and Darry...

Darry would sometimes let Ponyboy stay home from school, and let Two-Bit bring home his homework. Ponyboy wouldn't do it though. He would just stare at it, not caring much. It's what he has been doing for awhile now, since Johnny and Dally died. Pony would just find a nice spot somewhere in the house, sit perfectly still and get so lost in his thoughts. Sometimes even cry out of nowhere. He wouldn't talk to no one. Not even me, his brother. Darry called in his  
school consoler and she said something about a deep depression. Whatever that is..

_Maybe I should go in the room and try to talk to him_, I thought.

I walked into our room, silently closing the door behind me. The room was dark and Ponyboy was laying on the bed, his back to me. I felt a stabbing pain in my heart as I heard the sobs that were escaping from Pony's lips, and echoing around quiet the room.

"Ponyboy..?" I stammered.

He stopped sobbing. There was a long silence.

"Pone...Darry just made some chocolate cake, it's your favorite..why don't go in the kitchen and have a bite?"

More silence. I coulnt stant it.

"Do you wanna watch some TV? Maybe a movie?" I said. I was running out of things to say, _NOTHING_ was getting to him!

Feeling defeated, I sighed and walked out of the room closing the door slowly and silently.

I stood against the door and stayed quiet for a moment, listening intently.

Ponyboy went on crying and sobbing.

I felt something warm streaming down face. Great, now im crying.

I jumped as I felt a hand grasped my shoulder. I turned around.

"Hey..how is he? Is he okay?" Darry asked. I sensed the concern and sorriness in his voice. I quickly wiped off my tears.

"Damnit Darry don't scare me like that! And no..he _still_ wont talk and usually he always talks! Especially to me!" I cried.

"Calm down Pepsi-Cola. We just have to give it time like t-"

"Fuck what the consoler said! It's been weeks and to me he is getting worse!" I shouted, which was not a smart idea since I was near the room Pony was in and my shouting caused him to cry harder.

"Watch your language Soda! Just go get sleep now, take your mind off of this." Darry calmly replied.

He was right. I needed sleep and tons of it. Thank god I have the day off tomorrow.

"Alright...g'night." I said walking to bedroom.

I walked in and took off my shoes, jeans, and plaid shirt. I climbed into bed and it was around then I noticed Ponyboy was'nt't crying anymore. I looked over and saw him still awake, kinda sleepy.

"Ya Cold Pony?" I asked him.

He didn't say a word. I didn't care if he cold or not, I just put my arm over his body and held him tightly.

"Ponyboy..if you can hear me, I just want you to know that I love you and I care a lot for you. Ill do whatever it takes to get a big smile on your face. I promise you that."

Ponyboy just fell asleep, but I knew he heard every word I said.

'I promise' I thought to myself and I pulled the covers over me and quickly fell into a slumber.

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Okay, once again I attempted to write a story again. Please don't be too harsh! I hope everyone likes it and I will continue if I get more then 3 good reviews. 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I still don't own The Outsiders. Never did, never will.

Happy New Years everyone!  
And thanks a ton for the great reviews!

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No One's POV 

_CRASH!_

_Sodapop shoved his baby brother against the wall and crashed his lips onto his. The younger boy could not help but kiss back, moaning and loving every moment he was experiencing.  
Ponyboy grasped Soda's shoulder's and pushed him towards their bed. This action surprised Soda a little but didn't let it effect the special moment. As they were now on the bed, Pony climbed on top of Soda and planted butterfly kisses upon his neck causing the second eldest Curtis brother to moan softly. Darry was sleeping in the next room and they knew better than to wake him up with all the noises they were creating._

_Sodapop right hand gently stroked Ponyboy's back while his free hand roamed over to his pants button. He undid the button and anxiously began stroking his man hood. The youngest Curtis brother moaned loudly and Sodapop sensed the ecstasy he was experiencing._

_"Shhh..don't be too loud baby," Sodapop whispered in his ear. Pony nodded his head as he discarded the rest of his brother clothes, and momentarily took off his own. Sodapop was now on top, ready to what he has been longing to do for a great amount of time.  
'Glory...does he look irresistible' Sodapop thought as eyes wandered upon Ponyboy's built physique. Ponyboy pulled Soda more closely to him and then..._

_BEEP...BEEP...BEEP.._

"AHHHHHH!" Sodapop shrilled, his voice being able to hear down the road...

"Sodapop are you alright!?" Darry asked. It was a bright, Tuesday morning and Darry was obviously in the kitchen making some breakfast for him and Ponyboy, that is if he will even look at the food.

"y..y..yeah, I..I'm fine no n-n-need to check in on m-m-me!" Soda shuddered. He made a motion on the bed. The sheets were damp and sticky. Momentarily, he realized he had a wet dream..about his **BROTHER.** Soda began to violently shake.

"Ummm, alright kiddo.." Darry said confused.

_'Shit..what kinda of dream was that?'_ Soda wondered to himself. It was the third time he dreamed something like that...about Ponyboy..he couldn't guess why. Of course he loves Ponyboy, for Pete's sake it's his brother! But of the past few weeks of stealing a few glances at him, being around him a lot more, all the holding, and hugging, and comfort he embraced Ponyboy in...he couldn't help but feel like he loved Ponyboy as more than a brother. Soda though knew he couldn't think or feel that way about him, let alone dream the envisions he had and knew he will probably have in the future.

'_Damnit...I need cold shower and fast'_ he told himself. He quickly got out of the bed he shared with Ponyboy, stripped the pillows and sheets and stripped his own clothes off. Wrapping a towel around him, he grabbed the wet clothing and sheets and shoved them in the pile of dirty clothes that he had to wash. And for the first time he was glad he got to wash the laundry this time. There was no way he can find an excuse to tell Darry about this. Sodapop then ran into the bathroom and took his cold, long shower.

"SODA, C'MON I NEED TO GET IN THERE!" Darry shouted toward the bathroom door. Sodapop has officially been in there for 30 minutes.

"QUIT YOUR HOLLERING DARRY, I'LL BE OUT IN A MINUTE!" Soda fiercely replied back.

"NOW WOULD BE MORE LIKE IT!"

"HUSH UP WILL YA!?" and a few seconds later Soda was out of the shower and ran back into his room.

"Took ya long enough kiddo!" Darry shouted.

"Ponyboy are you gonna eat breakfast?"

Ponyboy was outside enjoying the warm spring breeze. He had awoken earlier to watch the sunset. He got up from the porch and walked inside and plopped himself onto the couch with his usual "I'm too sad to do anything" attitude. You can tell he didn't payed much attention to Darry.

"Pony...breakfast is on the table. Eat it now." Darry ordered him. The typical youngest Curtis brother ignored him and continued to be lost in his own world.

"Kid, you haven't eaten for awhile now and I don't want you to get sick or anything...can you please eat something?" Darry wasn't the type to beg, but he did what he had to do to get Ponyboy to eat and not end up in the hospital. Ponyboy glanced up at Darry and shook his head, and went back to his thoughts. At this time, Ponyboy was in no contact with reality. Only his world.

Darry sighed giving up and waved bye to Pony and hollered a bye to the other brother who was getting dressed in his room. Darry had to work a 3 shifts today.

"Cya later Dar'!" Soda shouted.

"HEY ANYBODY HOME!?" a voice with such high energy called out. It was no doubt Two-Matthews himself, with Steve trailing behind him.

"Yeah in the room!" Sodapop said.

Two-Bit and Steve raced to the room but abruptly stopped. They both...well, technically Two-Bit, felt bad about what was happening to Ponyboy and didn't really want to be having fun than rather help him in his time of need.

"Hey Pone...how ya doin' kid?" a concerned Two-Bit asked, walking over to the bed. Sodapop looked up at him, tears starting to form in his eyes. Two-Bit was usually like a 3 year old kid with all this energy, always chipper and happy-go-lucky like Soda himself, but his voice sounded...not like him at all. As if this whole Ponyboy situation made him feel guilty in a way. His cheerful happy dancing gray eyes were just blank and un-describable.

"He's fine don't worry so much." A care-less Steve stated in a harsh tone. Since Ponyboy started acting all weird and upset and confused and all, Sodapop hasn't been in the greatest mood like he usually was and Steve was mad at Ponyboy since he was the cause of it. Deep down somewhere inside of Steve, though, he was slightly worried about Ponyboy and knows very well how much he means to Soda. That didn't necessarily changed how he feels toward Pony though. He will always be considered the annoying tag-along brat that Steve never has liked and never will.

"Hey man, their showing a new movie at the Nightly-Double and I got us some good-looking broads to come with us, you in?"

Sodapop looked at Ponyboy. He was laying down on his side of the bed glancing out the window, not wanting to make contact with the boys or anyone else for that matter.

"I don't know...do you wanna go Ponyboy?" He said.

'Here we go...' Steve thought to himself angrily. He just wanted so badly to shout out how he really felt about Pony and how he hated the fact that he has to go everywhere with Soda. Though he knew better and kept his cool.

Silence.

"Take that as a no Pepsi-Cola" Two-Bit said referring to Soda. Soda sighed, Two-Bit then leaned in toward him.

"Did you ever try to smile at him?" Two-bit whispered softly to him. Sodapop was confused.

"What?"

" Y'a know...smile at him. That crazy grin you do to make the whole world smile no matter how sad or mad they are." He was right. Sodapop never tried that, he hadn't smiled much in a long while. Usually his smiles were fake and he was able to pull it off. Though, he didn't really get his hopes up. It was **VERY** hard to get anything through to Ponyboy. Sometimes Sodapop would think twice before he says anything at all, being sure to not let any words or phrases remind Ponyboy of Johnny or Dallas. It's been months and he still isn't over it.

"Naw..trust me I don't think that's 'gonna work man." Soda sadly declined. Nothing was going to work...how can anything work? It's not even humanly possible to bring back Johnny or Dallas or both. Hell, they aren't even replaceable. Sodapop turned and glanced at Ponyboy.

Just laying there...but boy did he look..

_'UGH NO! STOP IT! I cant believe this is happening again!'_ Sodapop fiercely said to himself. He cant feel this way...HE CANT! If Darry ever found out about this, the brothers would be split up into a boy's home for sure. Steve and Two-Bit would feel weird and awkward around the, and even worse, poor Ponyboy and him would suffer through cruel comments and insults from _both_ Greasers and Socs. Soda sure as hell didn't want that to happen, but since those dreams he's been having he couldn't help but feel urges to touch Pony...to feel his lips against his own..to hold him tightly and never wanting to let go.

Oh fuck it, he cant deny it anymore, no matter how much he tries. When your in love you cant fight the feeling right? It was true...

Sodapop Patrick Curtis is _in love _with his brother Ponyboy Micheal Curtis...

_'Man...I need a cigarette...'_ Soda thought.

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WOOO. Ok so so so so sorry for the long wait for the second chapter but boy was I brain dead! Then I thought I had something and I just wrote it out and it sounded like crap...then I re-wrote it and got into the zone! Hoped you enjoyed it! But I need your help this time folks...the next chapter is a shocker, and might be longer. I need a conversation topic that Sodapop, Steve, and Two-Bit will need to have an argument about it I have no clue what! It has to be smarticle though lol!  
like...what year did the first man got to the moon...something like that! Please & Thanks and the more ideas I get the FASTER I make the next chapter! 


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** The Outsiders. the book the characters, everything. Please understand that and I will never have to mention it **EVER** again.

**A/N:** I'm sorry I took centuries to re-post. But first of all I couldn't think of a thing to write. Then I still couldn't think plus school was in the way, then my grades came in sucky which made my mom take the computer away. Honestly, I'm just going to write this randomly, go with the flow and do some editing!

Oh and for people who think the Soda/Pony pairing is wrong, then why you'd click the link here to read? Or are you that mentally de-ranged? Seriously, it's now 2008. The country let alone the globe is filled with Bi's Lesbians' and Gays.  
Grow-up and get over it : I'm specifically talking to Flag. I'm sorry if you disagree but I don't need your flames here. I will just laugh my ass off if you do. Besides, it's a made-up story! Calm your butt down. gawsh.

OK on with the story.

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**Ponyboy's POV**

Can't a teenage guy be alone without be bugged every god damn time about food? or sleep? or whatever else they bug me so much about? All this attention makes me feel like I'm in a nut house! I'm not crazy..I'm not. I just want to be alone. Maybe even be the only person in the world for just awhile. I don't need Darry or Sodapop bugging me for stupid shit like food. I wonder if Johnny misses me...or Dally. I don't know why everything is slipping away for me...just when things are normal and great they go wrong out of nowhere. My parents, Johnny, Dally, and not that I care too much, but Bob too. Why did you have to go Johnny? You and me...we were supposed to grow-up together, be buddies forever. You just died without me saying a goodbye. Or an I love you...  
I haven't been out much besides school but I can see that things were getting worse between the Greasers and Socs. You know that doesn't make me feel too hot, or anyone else for that matter.

Maybe it's time for a change...if everything around me is changing than why not do the same with myself? Right now... I just hate the world.

XxXxXx

**No ones POV**

New morning at the Curtis house. Darry was up making breakfast while Sodapop was getting ready for work. Ponyboy sat still on the kitchen table Minutes later, Two-Bit and Steve stormed through the door and the 'party' began.

"Hey Superman, can ya tell Steve-O here that drugs can kill you in an instant!?" Two-Bit shouted. He walked into the kitchen and hopped onto the counter and began sharpening his black-handled switchblade.

"Not all drugs can kill you, Two-Shit. Maybe coke can.. besides, all you do is get rip-roarin' drunk. I reckon you never even had drugs before." Steve scowled.

Darry turned around shot a glare at Two-bit. " Why are you guys talking about this? Now? And in front of Pony?" He said firmly.

Ponyboy rolled his eyes inwardly and sighed in annoyance. But his head popped as if he had an idea.

"Hey Pony how the heck are ya buddy?" Two-Bit grinned.

Ponyboy just stayed silent and momentarily got up and went into the living room.

Two-Bit sighed and came off the counter. "Well...anyway, am I right or is Steve?"

Sodapop then came out of the bathroom in only a towel. "Hey y'all. Steve are we walking or driving to the DX-"

"Darry...can I go out tonight?"

The voice sounded weird. It was a voice no one has heard of. Darry glanced at Ponyboy who was staring down.

"Ponyboy was that you who said that...?"

"...Yeah. Can I please go out tonight? It's only Saturday.." Pony said trailing off.

"uh yeah, course ya can. But just be home by midnight exactly." Darry replied. He was in shock.

"Well butter my rump and call me toast, the kid finally talked! And he hit puberty before we knew it!" Two-bit said evidently happy with a huge grin on his face. Steve just stared at Ponyboy at amazement while Soda was taking in the moment. _Ponyboy...talked? __after all these months?_ Without hesitation or thinking twice, Sodapop ran towards Ponyboy and hugged him as if for dear life.

It was sort of an awkward moment since Ponyboy just sat there, but as Soda pulled away, Ponyboy flashed a grin...well if you could call it that. It was more like a lopsided broken-smile. He then walked into the bedroom and shut the door behind him.

Silence.

"... Wow." was all Steve could say. He a funny puzzled look to him.

"Well I'm hungry, c'mon Darry dearest feed me some pancakes and bacon with eggs! Chop Chop!" Two-Bit shouted for everyone to hear and made himself comfortable on the kitchen table.

Darry mumbled something and went on to finish cooking breakfast.

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OK folks, I really did do my best. Ill say once again say sorry for not re-posting for a long while. Me and my brain don't function as much. And sorry that the chapter is kinda short. Love the reviews so keep 'em coming. There will be Soda/Pony action soon so calm your-selves. I'm thinkin about Ponyboy doing something to freak-out Darry & Sodapop. And if your confused, I promise I will make it more clear in the story. Ponyboy and Johnny had a little love thing in the story before he died. flashbacks are coming your way.

**HeartbrokenbyaHeartbreaker**- I'm sort of an Outsiders expert. Maybe beyond that but Sodapop smokes when he wants to look tuff or tough [either one or is bummed about something. Proof is in the book!

**xemmiex**- Tell me about it! I don't see any Soda/Pony pairings. But I am ok with Johnny/Pony pairings too. It's all good lol


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Everything Outsiders and that is the last time I say it.

Thanks for all the reviews! The reviews motivated me to write the next chapter real fast and perfect

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Ponyboy was sitting on the bathroom floor breathing heavily. Deep in thought, he added pressure on the bloody cloth he held to his wrists. He has been cutting himself for awhile now. A month to be exact. he didn't mid hurting himself.  
He usually thought of Johnny when he cut himself. He remembered the the days they spent together after he came home from school and long weekends. When the gang didn't come over at the Curtis house and Darry & Sodapop were out working at night, they would fool around in his room and they took advantage at any chance they could find alone time. Even when Johnny once stayed for dinner at Pony's house and they secretly held hands under the table and had a minor foot war. He can even remember that special night up in Windrixville that him and Johnny had. A memory he wouldn't want to forget but at the same time erase from his mind. Ponyboy can remember everything as if all events had happen yesterday...it's still fresh in his mind. Yet, those memories can burn little holes all over his heart.  
He can remember it all... 

**_Flashback_**

_Ponyboy was smoking a cigarette one morning. He was out back of the abandoned church of Jay Mountain which was located in Windrixville. Amazed by the view of the whole town from the mountain, he admired the vivid colors of the early sunset. Gray, violet, blue, dark blue...he hasn't seen anything more mind-blowing before. At least he thought he did. No. He has seen something more mind-blowing. He grew up with him since he was 4 years old._

_"Ponyboy?" a hoarse voice called out._

_Ponyboy turned around from the limited sunset to see a grinning, slightly tired boy walk up to him. Of course it was none other than Johnny Cade._

_"Watching the sunset again, huh?" Johnny said in a low voice while wrapping his arm's around the 14 year old's waist._

_"Yeah, I just realized that sunsets are pretty and kinda tuff and only last for 5 minutes or so...but I know your here with me forever." Ponyboy heart-fully confessed. Johnny blushed and glanced at Pony with his big black round eyes._

_"Do you mean that Pone?" Johnny asked wondering._

_"Of course I do Johnny. I know for sure that I want to spend the rest of my life with you."_

_Johnny stared at Ponyboy for awhile in silence. Suddenly grabbing Ponyboy's hand led him inside._

_"Ponyboy, I wanna tell you something.." Johnny began to say._

_Pony looked at Johnny frightened and un-easily. He thought Johnny was about to regret everything they've been through together. "What's wrong Johnny?"_

_"I wanna say the truth...ya know let my feelings out. I think...I think that I might...love you. Like really love you, a lot too. Every time I see you I want to run away because I know I would feel and act dumb around you, I start to sweat a little and all and not that I know for sure or nothin' but I guess...that's what happens when you're in love. Some moments we have together I never want them to end. I feel like if I touch you or hold you close, I just literally never want to let go of you...savvy? When I pass by in the halls in school to just say hi and stuff, I feel a rush through me, like adrenaline. I always dig layin' with you at the lot looking at the stars, or watching sunsets but I realized...it doesn't matter what you do or where you go or when you do it. It just matters who you're with. If I'm with you, then I know I'm good...that's just all I really wanted to say."_

_A glazed eyed Ponyboy stared at Johnny with astonishment. No one had ever said such a honest love-filled speech to him before. Not his parents, not Sodapop, especially not Darry. Right then and there Ponyboy has never felt so wanted in his life. So loved by someone he loves just the same. He could feel the waterworks coming, and there they went going down his face. Tears of pure happiness of course, all thanks to the lovely Johnny Cade._

_"Johnny...I love you too. I don't want to ever lose you not even for a second." Ponyboy leaned forward and kissed Johnny with all his power passionately._

_Johnny pulled Ponyboy and hugged him tightly._

_"I know you don't Ponyboy I know you don't." Johnny choked out chuckling. Seems as if he were about to cry too._

_"Johnny, promise me you will be with me forever. Promise me we can grow old together and love every second of each others company for the rest of our lives...promise me..." Ponyboy sobbed._

_"I swear Ponyboy I will. I promise, I promise, I promise ill always stay with you. Thanks to the gang...but mostly you Ponyboy...I know what love and affection is and what it feels like."_

_Ponyboy wiped Johnny's tears away and chuckled a bit. For the rest of the day, they had some kisses here and there, ate candy bars and smoked, read Gone with the Wind aloud, and peacefully went soundly to sleep where the next morning Dally was going to visit them._

**_End of Flashback._**

Ponyboy shook his head hard and violently.

_Johnny is dead! He is dead and he is never coming back! He broke the promise! He said it himself._

**_HE WANTED TO DIE._**

Ponyboy wanted to scream out 'leave me alone!' so badly he dug his nails into his arm deep and hard to resist. He always had voices in his head taunting him. Making him feel like shit. Trying to convince him that Johnny never really cared about him. He used him.

Pony was just Johnny's play toy.

Ponyboy stood up trying his very hardest to prevent himself from crying.

'Don't fucking cry...dont..he's gone now. Maybe to another, better place. Just move on...move on..' he told himself.

Once again he had the power to believe himself. He was definitely going to move on. He just didn't know how...maybe he needs some help?

Though deep down inside, no one in the universe can ever replace Johnny. After all, he was Ponyboy's first love.

Ponyboy got up from the spot he was in and washed off the blood on his arm. He rolled down his sleeve and casually walked out of the bathroom and went to get ready to go out tonight. Alone.

He sure to completely let loose tonight.

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I am officially happy I wrote this! I can't believe how great the chapter came out. Well to me, hopefully you guys feel the same way; and there I finally gave you a chapter of Johnny and Ponyboy and there love for each other; just to make the story more clearer. Johnny's speech was all originality baby. I only write one sentence and I was in the zone by then lol. 

_secret:_ anytime I read an Outsiders story on this site, I just picture the story with the movie characters. I guess it's more easier or the fact that the actors are way to sexy. I guess the second part! wink  
Don't worry though, I know Dally had Blonde hair and Sodapop too. I know all the differences between book and movie.

**endiahna** - thanks so much! Im really glad your interested in this story because I know how strong Pony and Soda's bond is, so it kinda inspired me to write this.

**Anony. Lover -**I love that you love the fact that I posted a story about the Brothers. They ARE so perfect together! I just love them so much! And hmm...daring? Daring how? lol.


	5. Chapter 5

Hey! back with a new chapter I hope everyone will like  
so here we go...

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Ponyboy walked out of his bedroom quickly aiming for the door to get out the house, wanting to make no eye contact with no one when Darry stopped him.

"Hey kiddo, you never told me where you were going'...so..?" Darry look down on the young Curtis boy.

Ponyboy stayed silent. Sodapop watch the scene in the kitchen eating chocolate cake.

"Ponyboy...where are you going? Either you tell me or you ain't goin' nowhere tonight." Darry stated roughly.

Sighing inwardly, Ponyboy looked up at his older brother and continued to stay quiet.

"Ponyboy are you gonna say somethi-"

"The movie house OK!? A new Paul Newman movie and I am going to the movie house to see it! Jesus Christ Darry get off my back! Please! please!" Ponyboy shouted.

Darry stared down at Pony for awhile visibly pissed. Ponyboy was of course annoyed, since he wanted to leave the house something fierce. It was true that there is going to be a new Paul Newman movie, but Ponyboy had other plans and seeing that flick ain't one of the agenda's. He was just about fed up with Darry and Soda and everyone else worrying about him and walking eggshells around him.

Ponyboy sighed. "I'm sorry Dar, it's just after everything that's happen with Joh-"

He couldn't get himself to blurt out his name. It was like saying a dirty cuss word that makes you wanna gag.

"-with you know who...I just haven't been myself and all. I miss them so much.." Ponyboy confessed with a painful look on his face.

'He should surely buy that...' Pony thought in the back of his mind. Now he really wanted to leave, or else a smug grin will come upon his face.

"It's OK kid, I understand. But you better get your butt back here by 12:00 exactly." Darry said softly at first, then firmly.

'Or what, you hit me again?' Ponyboy scowled to himself. "Don't worry Darry I will. I'll see y'all later."

Ponyboy walked out of the house and into the warm night.

Sodapop sighed as Ponyboy left the house and glanced at Darry.

"Darry Im heading over to Steve's so don't wait up."

"Alright. Don't get into trouble or else your in for it."

"Yeah yeah, thanks DAD. Cya later." Sodapop walked out of the house and straight to Steve's.

Ponyboy walked around a store for about an hour examining the portable weapons of all kinds. Hand guns, switchblades, axes, you name it.

A white wooden switchblade designed with gold details caught Ponyboy's eye and he automatically picked it up as if it were meant for him.

He flicked it open. It seemed around 8 in. Perfect for him. Only 2 more inches more than...

_Johnny's blade...when he killed Bob..._

Ponyboy shuddered and and snapped his eyes shut. He needs to get over him..

"Son? Are you okay? Are ya goin' to buy that thang?" a deep voice then.

Practically jumping out of his skin, Ponyboy turned around, looking alarmed.

"U-U-Uh y-yeah I wanna g-get it." Ponyboy replied. He sighed and tried to relax.

"Sure son, let''s go to the front and ring it up". The clerk said retrieving the blade from Ponyboy and walking to the front of the store.

"Sure". Ponyboy said and looked up and around the store. No video cameras. He quickly grabbed another blade and carefully put down his pants half-way and covered what was left revealing under his shirt. He quickly walked to catch up with the clerk.

"Ok...that will be..3.25".

"Huh? Oh...actually I don't want it anymore. Parents will lose their cool". Ponyboy stated.

"Okay..but then why did you-"

"Maybe next time when I'm older, so I guess ill go now. Sorry for wasting your time sir". And with that, Ponyboy naturally walked out of the store and after 10 steps he took the blade out and ran out of site.

Sodapop banged on Steve's door. He can hear mumbling as Steve opens the door.

"What do you wa-? Oh, hey Soda buddy. What's going on?"

"I just wanna talk..I need someone to talk and who better than my best friend?" Soda said flashing his movie star smile.

Steve smiled back. " I guess so sure, come in."

"So what's wrong?" Steve asked as they both sat down on his couch.

Sodapop stayed quiet for a moment. How can he say this the right way? Steve and himself had been friends for a long long time and would that all be over because of how he felt about his brother? How he had naughty dreams about him? Steve would understand.

_Right...?_

"Steve, what do you think of queers?" Sodapop unsteadily said, slowly looking at Steve.

"What? What kind of question is that Soda?"

"I'm just wonderin'...well...what do you think of them?"

Steve gave Soda a weird face. What the hell is he going about?

"Umm...I don't have problems with them...it's wrong..but I guess so what if they don't concern me right?" Steve chuckled nervously.

Soda glared at Steve. "Yeah...but...well..there's this guy I know from school, a long time ago and I remember him saying he might be in-love with a guy an-"

"Who gives two-shits Soda? Where are you going with this!?" Steve said starting to become irritated.

"Look im just saying, he said he was in love with his brother. He had stronger feelings and had weird dreams about him too like you with girls." Soda blurted out.

"I don't care! Why are you telling me this!?" Steve said raising his voice. What hell was his problem?

"Because Steve! I-I-I love Ponyboy!" Sodapop yelled standing up.

"Of course you love that tag-along Soda, I mean damn it he is your brother!" Steve yelled back.

"No! I meant- I just meant..I love love him OK? How slow can you be Steve!? I mean I want to kiss Ponyboy and have a real relationship with and hold him and do the stuff I did with Sandy with him! I am inlove with Ponyboy and I just had to tell someone or else I was going to go fucking crazy!"

Steve stared at Soda wide-eyed. What did he just say? He was in-love? with a _guy_? with his _brother_? with _PONYBOY!?_ OH shit. This has to be a dream. It has to be...

At least that's what Steve hoped.

"...S-Soda...I-I.." Steve was at loss for words. What can he say? Congrats, how's Pony in bed? What is the world coming to...Jesus. Steve realized he wanted a smoke real bad right now.

"Steve...say something man. I don't know what I'd do if we weren't friends anymore..because of what I sa-" Soda pleadingly started to say but Steve cut him off.

"Look it's ok Sodapop just..can you leave me alone for awhile? I'll just see you at work OK? Tomorrow.." Steve opened the door and held it open for Soda.

A heartbroken Sodapop walked out the door mumbling "Cya tomorrow then.." hanging his head down in shame.

Sodapop had to admit though. He did feel good to get that kind of secret off his chest. He really wanted to tell someone about it, but now it scares him to think that his confession will cost him his friendship. Soda thought it over. Steve was understanding..right? He would care for Soda enough to let him see whoever he was happy with. Steve is supporting too...at times. Sodapop shuddered at the thought of Steve thinking of him as a fag, a fag who in love with a boy let alone his brother. Sodapop sighed. Just what the hell did he get himself into? He decided he didn't want to go home yet. He couldn't face Darry or Ponyboy at the moment. He went straight to the lot to sit and think this through.

* * *

Sorry I haven't updated in forever with writer's block and school in the way.  
Reviews? would love it so much!


	6. Chapter 6

_Shit I cant believe I did that...what if I get caught!?_

Ponyboy was just a few blocks away from his home.He took note to remind himself to take bundles of aspirin when he get home. He just stoled a switch blade...a nice one to be exact. Though a part of him didnt care much, while another part of him worries the shit out of him. Even better, all of him feels an amazing adrenaline rush. What's he gonna say if Darry see's this? Or Sodapop? Boy is he screwed.

_It was kind of a funny situation though_, Ponyboy thought to himself.

"Hey Baby Curtis, what's your ass doing around this time of night?"

Ponyboy sighed. Damnit, he didn't need this right now. He turned around and looked at the person that acknowledged him.

"Going home if you must know. Why are you following me Shepard?" Ponyboy stated firmly.

"I just got out of the cooler man, im just walking around and found you." the Shepard boy smirked.

"Curly, find someone else to mess with, im tired and I ne-"

"Whats that?" Curly asked suspiciously.

"Whats what? What are you talking abo-" Ponyboy froze. He looked down and saw he was holding the switchblade he stole in his hands.

_Shit. Shit. Shit._

_Ah, just act normal._

"A switchblade, ya act like you never seen one before." Ponyboy said

"Knowing you carrying around a switchblade is like... Dallas wearing pink." Curly said chuckling.

"Dont say his name around me..!" Pony stated firmly through clenched teeth.

"Yeah, alright, talk to me once you get that stick out your ass, k baby curtis?" Curly winked at him and started walking another direction.

Pony sighed. Damn Curly. Why'd he had to mention Dally? Pony shook it off and thought about going home some more. He wasnt ready to face Darry or Soda yet. Not talking to them for a long time made him distant from them, though he was around them bunches. Ponyboy just then had an idea. He glanced at Curly and saw him still walking, and knowing him, he is probably going to some party...or crashing one. Maybe Buck Merrill's place even. Ponyboy quickly caught up with Curly. All he wanted to do was let loose tonight and release stress.

Maybe, according to Curly, he can get the stick out his ass!

"Curly wait! What are you up to now?"

"Im heading over to a Party at my place, it's a party for me that Tim is throwing, getting out of jail somethin, or just an excuse to throw a party but im cool with that too. Why?"

_Bingo._

"Mind if I join ya?"

Curly grinned. "Tim's partied are pretty wild Curtis. Think you can handle it? mean, tough cats usually lookin for fights...hot girls and their jugs...all the beer to get drunk on. You wont survive for a second!"

"Try me." Ponyboy protested, smirking.

"Ha, fine. Follow me!"

As they walked, in the back of his head, Ponyboy felt guilty and felt wrong about doing what he was doing but tried his best to shrug it off. A few drinks and hanging out with fellow greasers...what can it hurt?

"DARRRYYY!! WHERE IS THE ASPIRIN?!" Ponyboy groaned.

Damnit, he was wrong. So VERY wrong! He had an enormus headache and was suffering from a hangover. It was partly Curly's fault. He is very persuasive.  
Well now, he is stuck in bed, puking his guts out until this hangover is done with. Two-Bit once said hangover's are over around noon. Boy is Ponyboy counting down the hours til noon. Lordy time can be slow. While Pony was laying down feeling like crap, Sodapop was sitting on the edge of the bed putting his shoes on to get to work, laughing.

It's Ponyboy's first hangover from drinking so much. Where was the camcorder when you need it?

"HOLD YOUR HORSES WILL YA? IM LOOKING FOR IT! IM STILL MAD ABOUT LAST NIGHT MISTER YOU AINT OFF THE HOOK! SODAPOP HURRY UP AND GET READY FOR WORK I GOT TO LEAVE SOON!" Darry replied yelling.

"OKAY DARRY, IM ALMOST DONE!"

"Damnit Soda! My head is pounding will ya quit yelling?!" Pony moaned in pain and annoyance.

"Sorry Pony it's what you get for getting drunk." Soda chuckled standing up.

"Fuck yo-" Pony muttered but was cut off.

"Finish that sentece you will be punished for a MONTH. Soda let's go. Butt. Car. Now." Darry said tossing the aspirin to Pony.

"Yeah, alright. Later Ponyboy." Sodapop waved at Pony

"Bye. Darry how can I take aspirin with no water?" Pony said.

"Im running late as it is kid, get it yourself if you need your aspirin so bad! Ill see you when I get home."

"Unfortunatley..." Ponyboy muttered. He heard the car drive off a minute later.

Ponyboy sighed. Man, he was going to be bored. He opened the aspirin bottle and poured two tablets in his hand. He stared at them hard. Pouring a few more into his hand, he ended up with 10 tablets. He shoved them all down his mouth forcefully and swallowed them dry. Ponyboy closed the aspirin bottle and stared it for awhile more. He put it under his pillow and layed down to fall asleep.

Soda wiped his sweaty hands on his pants. The DX. Work. Now he has to face Steve after what happend last night. He sighed and really hoped for the best. Sodapop was still Sodapop no matter what sexual orientation he is and Steve would understand that...he will be able to see that...RIGHT!?

Soda walked in the station. Here it goes...

"Hey Steve!" Sodapop grinned

"Hey."

"How are you this morning?"

"Fine."

"Still working on that ol' Chevy huh?" Soda nervously chuckled.

"Yep."

Sodapop stayed quiet for a moment then sighed. Steve obviously doesn't want to talk to him. For pete's sake he is only using one-syllable words! The truth really does has it's own consiquence. Soda probably now cost he and Steve's life long friendship over a little confession about Ponyboy. Sodapop picked up the hint and started walking away until he heard some kind of metal hit the ground hard.

It was Steve. He got up from under the hood and threw down his wrench.

"God damnit Soda! What the fuck was that yesterday huh!? You're in love!? With a Guy!? With your brother!? With Ponyboy!? Is this some joke? Cause I aint finding funny!" Steve growled

Soda sighed. "No Steve! And can you keep your voice down a little please!? I was 100 serious and don't ask how it happen cause I don't even know! I guess I got closer to him when he was in need of attention and help. I couldn't help it! And I understand if you hate me dont want to be friends with a faggot like me, so sorry I wasted half your life being around you. Just let me walk away know before I my "gay-ness" rubs off on you.

"Soda wait. I didnt say I didnt want to be friends anymore. And I certaintley dont hate you, it's kinda of impossible to stay mad at you! This is just to much for me that your throwing in my face! Stuff like that never happen around here so I was tooken by surprise. It was like...who woulda thought? Soda falling in love with his own brother. If I told you was doing what you were doing wouldnt you be just as shocked?

"I dont know..I guess so but I wouldn't betray you. your my best buddy." Soda grinned half-heartedly.

"Yeah I know. So im not betraying you. Cause your my best buddy too and if this is what you are and who you are it's fine with me as long as I still see that goofy grin on that face." Steve smirked.

Sodapop smiled. Steve doesn't hate him! Oh what a miracle! He coulda sworn Steve was about to punch the living tar outta him! Somewhere inside, he knew he can rely on his best friend.

"So buddies again?" Soda asked

"Never stopped being buddies, buddy." Steve chuckled as Soda hugged him.

Steve coughed. "Awkward..." he said in a sing-song voice. Soda laughed and punched his arm both friends going back to work as usual.

* * *

Sorry for long update! I have chapter 7 ready to be posted ASAP if I get reviews. no flames PLEASE.


	7. Chapter 7

_Later that day..._

Ponyboy walked into his and Soda's room and plopped himself on his side. His head was pounding like a mother fu-

"Hey Ponyboy." Pony turned his head and saw Soda walk in. He must have had a long day at work, cause looked he tired and sweaty.

"Hey." Pony went back to his own thoughts until his brother caught his eyes as he undressed out of his work clothes.

Just one look at Soda and Pony felt like he was hypnotized. He felt weird all of a sudden, it was unexplainable. He hadn't felt this way in a long time though he knew he felt it before...but where?! Pony never noticed Soda like this before, like in the way a typical greaser would stare at a girl with a big chest or something. Kinda like the way Soda looks amazing with no shirt on...Ponyboy couldn't put his finger on it on where he felt this incredulous feelings before. Then it took him a few moments to finally realize.

He had this exact feeling when he was in love with Johnny.

Now, Ponyboy felt sick. In both ways. He was a disgusting faggot perv, and the fact he was in love with his brother. He couldn't feel more ashamed. Though, he felt the same way when he was in love with Johnny, sickly. However, they ended up together with Johnny feeeling the same way as Pony had felt for him. But then again, look where that eneded up. Johnny six feet under the ground. Ponyboy sighed sadly.

"...and the old man just yelled at me and left. You think a bag of chips for a 1.25 is that horrible!?" Soda said with a grin.

"Huh?"

"You didn't hear a word I just said eh? Something wrong Pony?" Soda walked over to Ponyboy and Pony quickly got up from the bed and moved away.

"N-no nothings w-wrong, but ummm im gunna s-sleep on t-t-the couch tonight ok?" Pony stammered on his words grabbing his pillow and sheet.

"What? why?" Soda asked with a hint of worriness in his voice.

"I have reasons ok? Just see you tomorrow morning I guess. Night." Pony quickly walked, or ran, out of the room and into the living room where he took the big couch to sleep on, leaving a confused yet upset Sodapop abandoned.

The door of the brothers room was still open a bit.

"FOR PETE'S SAKE SODAPOP PUT A SHIRT ON! NO ONE WANTS TO SEE YOUR HALF-NAKEDNESS!" Ponyboy shouted and went straight to sleep keeping his mind of Soda.

Soda raised one of his eye-brows. A trick he can do so well. "I swear teenagers and their hormones makes them acts so darn wacky." Soda said to himself, though he knew he shouldn't be one to talk.

"I HEARD THAT!" Ponyboy shouted across the room. Sodapop wanted to laugh but couldn't really. He was going to sleep. Alone. And boy did he wished to hold Ponyboy so close tonight. It's what he looks forward to after a long day of work.

_Next morning..._

Darry walked into the kitchen for a cup of hot coffee, as usual. He felt grouchy and tired and he hated how he has to get to work so damn early and come home late. That's barley enough time to make dinner when it was his turn, and organizing the bills and paying for them, etc. Making an effort to finish roofing house, really dont pay off in the end. He still makes a minimum wage and always gets no as an answer to getting a raise. His boss can be a bastard at times.

Darry walked into the living room

"Ponyboy? What are you doing in the living room? I didn't know yo-" Darry was cut off short.

"That's what I wanted to know, Darry. He claimed he had reasons but didn't want to say anything..."

"Shutup." Pony said harshly. Soda's face twisted into hurt.

"Look, we can deal with this later? Ponyboy go get ready for school and Soda you too for work."

"I dont feel like going to school Darry..."

"Too bad Pony! You've been out of school for a long while now. Vacation is over! Now go get ready!" Darry shouted with a hint of irration in his voice.

Ponyboy sighed and stormed off in to the bathroom slamming the door. Sodapop sighed and muttered something Darry couldnt comprehend and walked into his room.

Darry sighed also. Another unsual morning in the Curtis house. What else is not new?

Sodapop's POV

I walked into my room and plopped myself on my side of the bed. I rubbed my chest. It was bothering me something awful, as if filled with heart-ache. It probably was...Ponyboy didn't want to sleep in the same bed as me like we did every night...ever since the first night dealing with our folks gone. I dont know if I did something or said something wrong that made him want to be so distant from me. Maybe he is on to me...maybe he knows I love him more than a brother. Aw man. I hate it when I think negative...it messes me up. Now, I have to worry about Ponyboy feeling weird around me and hating me. I just hope im wrong...I hope Darry doesn't find out about this. What if Pony tells Darry? Oh crap I will be-

"SODAPOP HURRY UP!"

"ALRIGHT DARRY DAMN!" I shouted. I got up and changed out of my clothes into my working clothes. It's going to be a pitiful day - I can feel it.

Ponyboy's POV

I sat in class in silence. I never to listen to teachers anyway these days. What's the point of coming to school? Jesus I wish Darry would just see that I don't need school. I don't need an education. I don't need anything. I'll just stay home everyday, watch TV, and let my life pass by, and be a dumb greaser for the rest of my life. I don't mind... not completely.

Who am I kidding. I can't stay in that hell pit forever. It's not what I really want.

It's not what Johnny would've wanted.

I sighed.

_Johnny..._

I hear the bell ring and quickly grabbed my stuff and dashed out of the room. I went to the side doors in the hallway and made sure no one was looking. I snuck out of the school and ran like hell. I just kept running...and running and running. I didn't know where I was going. I was just letting my feet lead the way...if that makes sense.

But then I ended up in a place I never thought I would go back to ever again.

The cemetery. Where Johnny and Dallas are...

_Johnny..._

I looked around. Quiet and deserted. Kind of the way I liked it. I went over to Dally's grave first. I see 2 red dead roses and a small picture of the gang when I was 11, Darry was 17, Soda was 13 going on 14, Johnny was 13, Steve and Dally were 17, and Two-Bit was 15. Around then, me and Johnny weren't as close. We would talk a few sentences and then act like we never met. We grew out of that eventually, but that day was kind of special. The first day I ever saw a true smile on Johnnycake. My mom was taking the picture and, well, I guess, it was a good day for her too. To see a little boy look so beat up, but with a face so lit up and joyful because of a sentence I said.

**_Flashback_**

_Ponyboy's POV_

_"Dang Steve quit botherin' Pony!" Soda hollered. Steve of coursed ignored him.  
_

_"Mommy! MOM! Steve keeps botherin' me!!" I yelled angrily._

_"Oh you boys better stop or no one will get chocolate cake with chocolate milk for lunch! Darrel help me separate Steven and Ponyboy please! and Sodapop, honey, calm down will ya?" My mother laughed. I miss her warm soul around home._

_"Ahh you whiny little baby!" Steve said over his shoulder._

_"Leave my baby brother alone Steve! I want me some cake!" Sodapop wrapped his arm around me and smiled down at me. I just stuck my tongue at him._

_"OK boys huddle together into one big group and smile for me!" My Mom sounded so excited. It was on a few pictures. I guess happiness makes me feel nauseated._

_"You too Johnny, you can be in the picture too, son." My father gently said to him._

_Johnny just muttered an OK and stood 4 footsteps away from me. I smiled at his innocence._

_"C'mon Johnny a little bit closer. Get real close to Ponyboy!" My mom said. Johnny just stood still quietly._

_"Don't be shy Johnnycake! It's not like your ugly!" Sodapop said. Dally punched Soda in the gut and told him to shut up or else. Not that hard though._

_I wrapped my arm around Johnny and said, " C'mon Johnny, I want to take a picture with my best-est friend ever!" I said with courage. I was just saying it to make him feel good._

_"Huh?" Johnny said. He looked at me as if he was about to cry. "Yeah Johnnycake, you're my best friend!" I said smiling._

_I wasn't his best friend friend since we didn't talk much. But I wanted to be is best friend. Us greasers have to stick together. Besides, he was better than Two-Bit and Steve who hits on girls all the time and want to drink and have beer blasts, and better than Dally who gives random people a hard time and be mean and nasty. Johnny seemed normal to me. Therefore, I liked him._

_Johnny had a smiled plastered on his face. "Best friend? you want to be my best friend?"_

_"Gawd, make the boo boo love-fest stop!" Two-bit shouted. Everyone laughed., including Johnny._

_My mom took pictures with most of the them having Johnny smile the biggest smile ever. I was proud of myself. I never knew I had it in me to put a smile on Johnny's face. All because I said I was his best friend. I guess it was something he always wanted._

**_End of Flashback_**

But that was a long time ago. I wonder who put that picture there.Probably Darry or Soda or maybe even Two-Bit. I don't know why I'm at Dally's grave. I don't think he would want me near his tombstone. The only reason he died was because of Johnny dying, which was my fault. I know I don't think too much, but look where that led to. I stood up and headed to Johnny's grave when Dallas' caught my eye.

_Dallas Winston_

_1948-1965_

_Hero and Beloved friend._

That's it? That's all they said about him? I pictured Dally's face in a pissed expression. If he died, which he did, who wouldn't want be remembered as a hero. He was too proud of his police record, like Curly Shepard. But then again...for awhile I tried to think, and I couldn't come up with anything nice or polite that would ever describe Dallas Winston. It would've been a lie.

I walked over to Johnny's grave and stared at for awhile. Sitting near it was one of the pictures my mom took that day. Golly, was he happy in that picture. I remembered he wrapped his arm around me and smiled real wide when I said we were best friends. I sighed and looked at Johnny's tombstone. I traced out his name with my finger. I suddenly wanted to feel him again. The need to kiss him again. But I knew I couldn't and felt my heart brake even more.  
I shed a few tears on the grass.

Jesus Johnny I miss you...please come back to me.. I don't know you expect for me to just live alone..

_Jonathan Cade_

_1949-1965_

_Hero Beloved Son Beloved Friend_

Beloved Son...I mentally apologized to Johnny in mind then I punched his tombstone real hard. My fist started bleeding and I could have sworn I heard it crack. I started crying. His parents were such bastards to the poor kid. Shit, they didn't even care that he died! His father only said "Johnny who? and slammed the door. I wanted to hurt his father so badly! He has no right to hurt Johnny like he did. I probably will hurt him...with my switchblade. Yeah, that will show him. Johnny would've hated me for doing something like that cause he deep down still loved his parents and hoped that they would change their ways, but they didn't and I wanted revenge for them hurting my Johnny.

I stayed at the cemetery the rest of the day til it was time to let school out. I walked home with tear-stained cheeks and bloody hands. I wouldn't know how to explain this to Darry but I know ill think of something. I usually do these days. I was walking through the lot when I caught a real view of it and remembered how Johnny and I were talking about how we wish so much that things could be better. That there would be no more Socs and Greasers...just plain ordinary people. Sadly, it only gotten worse.

I was a at least 2 blocks from my house when I suddenly heard a beer bottle smash on the ground. I jumped and turned around.

But I wished I hadn't...

"Hey Greaser! Looking for a good time? See, my idea of a good time..is beating the living tar outta you"

* * *

Sorry about the flash back thing I couldn't come up with anything descent! But here is your new chapter at least! tune in to see what happens next.  
reviews will be lovely thanks 3


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